Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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