So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
