The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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