Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize