awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
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We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
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So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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