Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
