Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
