Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
