this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
