You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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