My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My day in three words: secret purse cake
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
