I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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