So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.