16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
