just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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