I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We had to coat check the pizza.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
