he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
