well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
