ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
