their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
