Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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