best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
