i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
