therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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