What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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