I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
