hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
