she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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