My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize