she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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