I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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