ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
