when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
