I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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