Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
