porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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