She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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