Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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