we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize