There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
