I didn't shave. On purpose
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
