he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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