just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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