Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have aggressive nipples.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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