you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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