i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
