I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
