why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
