"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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