I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
