did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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