Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
