i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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