I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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