Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
