This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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